I feel a bit like Dr Jekyll in Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The good doctor kept a journal outlining the different formulas used for the transformation process to his uglier, more sinister counterpart, and more importantly, his findings(feelings) regarding the occurring life changes. Although I will turn neither ugly or sinister, if I feel prompted to break into a rousing rendition of 'This is The Moment' from the musical by same name as the novella during my treatment rounds, so be it.
I am not even sure why I am writing this but I feel compelled to do so. Perhaps someone of my family in the future will chance upon these writings and will gain some degree of hope and optimism, two traits inherited from my fantastic mother Bernice Shipley.
I am being treated for prostate cancer which was detected through the biopsy process in early January. Subsequent counseling and talking to other prostate cancer victims persuaded me to submit to the external radiation therapy which involves 40-42 exposures over an 8 week period. There were three other treatments offered 1. Do nothing and watch 2. Complete Surgical removal of the prostate 3. Radiant seed implants. I chose the external treatment after considering the possible side effects of each alternate treatment and actually visiting with Norris Finlayson, a wonderful Valparaiso Singers acquaintance. I had emailed our choir director Judith Stewart outlining my plight, and she forwarded the communication to Brother Finlayson.
He initiated an invite to talk with him, so in early February Jan and I journeyed to UCSF Medical center on the advice of my oncologist Dr. Sweet to receive counsel from some of the top-rate young oncology surgeons and radiation therapists. After this visit, we arrived at Brother Finlayson's house in Woodside and chatted with him for about a half hour. It turns out that he was a renowned pathologist and spent most of his medical life reading prostate cancer biopsies!!! Even more revealing was the fact that 20 years previous, age 61, my age, he was treated for prostate cancer! His 'gleason' numbers were almost identical to mine. Gleason numbers are scaled one to ten to delineate the severity of the cancer.
Brother Norris chose to do 'nothing' for 2 years but in his own words, "The psychological implications of 'what if' began to wear me down to the point of depression". He opted for the external treatment and now after 20 years he does not even submit to further 'PSA' blood tests.
He felt that surgical removal was too radical in lieu of my recent heart attack but that the seed implants or external radiation would be fine. As I pondered over the best course of action, I came to the conclusion that though the seed implant would be a one time done deal, a possible side effect would require temporary insertion of a catheter, something I do not wish to experience again, if you go the above link and read of that most miserable experience.
At the end of our discussion with Brother Norris, Jan and I were greatly encouraged, and in hindsight we could have just skipped the counsel sessions with the young 'doc's at UCSF, which wound up costing a lot of insurance money. Oh well.
Two weeks ago I was 'mapped','marked', 'tattoed', and 'bbd'. A computer map was generated replicating the exact size and location of my prostate gland which was followed by the above mentioned procedures to insure that the radiation could be delivered exactly where needed. One thing I don't need is to be the radioactive poster child from the late 1950's!!! Three small metal bb's were inserted into my skin in the opposing thighs and groin areas to complete the alignment process. Last Friday I was called in for a dry run which only took about 10 minutes.
At 11am today I began the treatment process, but not before receiving a Priesthood blessing at the hands of Brother Ogborn, one of our home teachers, and Brother Jim Hll who is soon departing for an 18 month South American mission with his dear wife Lynda. I was blessed to be all right and that the procedure would be successful. I am grateful for such good men and for the power of such blessings, though I wish my 3 wonderful sons and son-in-law could have been present to initiate the ordinance.
The morning treatment lasted about 5 minutes. I felt nothing except a brief tingle that was the result of a 'final adjustment' to the aiming process. Supposedly, this will the 'norm' during all the actual treatments, but the possible negative side effects of tiredness, incontinence, agitated bowel movement, burning sensation during urination, could develop further down the line. All these effects could be 'acronymically' described as-TMI.
I did have a little apprehension as I lay under this marvelous machine that delivers the radiation beam. I kept thinking of my childhood visits to the dentist Dr. Dong and remembered waiting for the 'zinger' that would come as he began to clear and scrape a cavity filled tooth. To this day, I can still hear the belt that powered the drill and can smell the burning odor of tooth decay!! OOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhh. Of course, nothing like that occurred this morning, something for which I am eternally grateful.
So... on we go. I will update this blog on a timely basis. Hopefully, there will not be that much to report.
Jan deserted me yesterday for a well earned respite from mother-care and has journeyed to Yosemite with Sisters' Barlocker, Harmon, Sorenson and Green. Margaret and Cal have a cabin close to the park so they are staying there for the next two evenings. This visit has been on our 'bucket list' for some time, but the opportunity to go came up and she went.
Tuesday April 23rd.
Day two is in the books. I was in and out in 15 minutes. The whole process is quite precise and most interesting. I asked if the beam emitted is a laser beam, and the answer was no. Evidently, it is simply directed radiation that penetrates to the prostate and then due to the precise mapping of the organ, delivers the radiation only in that area. I was thinking that the beam went straight through my other body parts but that is not how it works. There is some minor 'exit' radiation but most is absorbed into the prostate.
I am experiencing a tenderness in my rectum which was a possible side effect. So far, no burning. I also thought I was a little tired early in the afternoon, but that could have been because I didn't get to sleep until after 1:30am in the morning.
Don and Kris Word are in ill-health and I had been thinking about them for some time. I called Kris yesterday to offer blessings if they had not already received them. She called today and was most appreciative of the gesture. They have an excellent home teacher in Brother Jim Hill. He had already given Don a blessing on Sunday. Don is going in on Friday for a pretty delicate heart procedure known as 'ablation', all designed to relieve his fibrillation's. Kris has a knee tendon problem that has put her on crutches, but was not pursuing a blessing at the time. They invited me to their house this afternoon and Don and I administered to Kris. They are good friends and we will continue to pray for them. Their names, plus daughter Robin, are on the Oakland Temple prayer rolls for the next two weeks.
I went to Casa Sorrento Pizzeria tonight and ordered a 'comfort food' pepperoni pizza. It is still the best pizza in the world and has been for over 45 years.
Sunday April 28th.
First week down, 7 to go. Wednesday was not a good day. I drove to the Temple and felt a little nauseated and just out of sorts. That feeling continued most of the evening prompting an early departure for home from the Temple. I am having these heartburn like symptoms once again on a more regular basis. They are very disconcerting to say the least.
Thursday was a much better day as was Friday. I have noticed a decreased 'flow' volume while urinating so I checked with Dr. Gallardo on Friday and he suggested taking an anti-inflammatory with each meal. I have been doing that and it seems to be working. Of course, I have also been 'off' the treatment rounds for two days now, so....time will tell.
My dear friend Judith Stewart, director of the Valparaiso Singers, is in her second go-round for cancer. She just completed her 1st dose of chemotherapy and is suffering from its effects. She managed an email of concern for me this past week which was quite nice. She is going through a much more life-threatening experience.
On the way to the prison this morning I got a text from Jamie and the message stated that the older girls, Brooklyn and Abby, and he , were fasting for me!! How sweet and kind and thoughtful. I have always thought of myself as the giver and not the one receiving, but with these recent health developments, it is quite obvious that I am not indestructible, but rather very human. In a way, it has been a very humbling experience over the past several months. I have mused over the reality that I am closer to being 'taken' than not. I feel at peace, though, in the fact that I believe my life path has been pleasing unto my Heavenly Father. I have felt, and still do feel, his loving presence through the Spirit. Having said all that, I am not ready to go anytime soon. I am merely trying to say that I am at the age where you start to think of these things. Perhaps I will finish the talk I have wanted to prepare about the aging process. It would be titled, "The Other Side Of Immortality". Interesting idea isn't it?
Jan went to a Quilt show in San Luis Obispo on Saturday with her quilting friends and had an enjoyable time. I took Nana for a lunch time cruise around the outskirts of Salinas and wound up at the North Main Taco Bell. She has become very fond of the new Kool Ranch shell taco. Taco Bell has teamed with Doritos, the makers of Kool Ranch chips, to prepare a crisp taco shell from the same recipe. It is quite yummy.
Onto the new week 2.
Well, so much for keeping a daily radiation diary. My last of 42 treatments occurred today at 10:30am. I completed the course and even have the above certificate to prove it!!!
The truth is, there was not much to even talk about. I had very few side effects and all went extremely well. The wonderful staff at Advanced Radiation Oncology Center even took me to lunch at Elli's restaurant last week. I got to know each of them very well over the past nine weeks, and they are all compassionate and professional individuals. I thanked them for helping to prolong my life.
So now we will just wait for about 6 weeks and then have another blood test for PSA level which should be reduced to a minimal count number as a result of the treatment. I have full faith that this will be so. The time has flown by as all of life has over the past 10 years.
I had my year checkup with my cardiologist today and all is well on that front. The recurring 'heartburn' symptoms are fewer and farther between, so I am thankful for that. Perhaps they will even be gone over the next few months.
Now it is time to put these health issues aside and resume living, which is just what I plan to do. I am grateful for the modern technological 'miracle' treatments and procedures which are available today. Certainly, the Lord has blessed the lives of countless medical researchers with inspiration to know what to do and how to best accomplish the goals of diagnosing medical maladies and finding cures. In the end, thanks be to my Heavenly Father for not calling me home as yet. I have many miles to go before I rest!!
2 comments:
oh dad, this does not sound like fun. but it could be worse! right?!
i wish i was there to help out! (not that me with four kids would be much help...)
anyway, we should all go to disneyland when you're declared healthy!
Without a doubt, Princess. Thank you for your concern! And yes there are many who are worse. I talked with two widows whose husbands died from prostate cancer. Both waited too long for the treatment to be effective. I am grateful we caught it in time.
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